“I knew you loved me and that you’d do anything for me. And that was one of the reasons it hurt so much when you ended it, Dawson. Because I knew even then how rare that kind of love is. Only the luckiest people get to experience it at all” 

That’s a quote from Nicholas Sparks’s The Best of Me. I just finished watching the movie, and even an hour later, I’m still struck by it. The story is about first love, and it left me thinking.

I’ve never truly been in love. I’ve liked people, yes, but I don’t know if I’ve ever loved anyone. I don’t even know if any man has ever loved me. I’ve been hurt more times than I can count, so many that rejection feels almost familiar now. When things don’t work out, I just move on quickly. Maybe I’ve always been lucky in games, but never in love.

Sometimes I wonder if all the heartbreaks made me stronger, or if they built a wall that keeps me from really loving anyone.

Still, I can only hope that someday I’ll be one of the lucky ones. That I’ll experience what love really is. That I’ll find someone who brings out the best in me, and who will always have the best of me in return.

“That’s why I loved being with you. We could do the simplest things, like toss starfish into the ocean and share a burger and talk and even then I knew that I was fortunate. Because you were the first guy who wasn’t constantly trying to impress me. You accepted who you were, but more than that, you accepted me for me. And nothing else mattered — not my family or your family or anyone else in the world. it was just us.“

“You’ll make mistakes and struggle like everyone, but when you are with the right person, you’ll almost perfect joy like you are the luckiest person who ever lived. And that means you’ll love and be loved…. and in the end, nothing else really matters.”

Thank you, Nicholas Sparks. You’re the man who always puts love into my heart through your words.